Work in Progress

Lee is currently at work on a book of essays titled (facetiously) A Practical Guide to Everyday Living. Herewith a sample.

Introduction

Introduction If you’re looking for a book that will lift your spirits and make you feel good about just being you, quick: put this one back on the shelf before

Presidential Politics

Presidential Politics Character does count. But character doesn’t mean compressing all the bad things a candidate has done over the past forty years onto a sheet of paper and toting

Making Tough Decisions

Making Tough Decisions You’re facing a difficult choice. It could be an ethical dilemma, or a business decision, whatever. You’ve gotten all the input and advice you can, and now

Whom to Blame

Whom to Blame When you feel compelled to start railing against something, screaming and yelling about how things really ought to change, consider for a moment whom you are addressing.

Degrees of Freedom: Playing Games with Justice

Degrees of Freedom: Playing Games with Justice Many of you may be familiar with a game that has been sweeping the Left Coast for about two years called "Six Degrees

In a Restaurant

In a Restaurant You’re in a restaurant with a dozen friends. Your waiter (sorry: your server, Trevor) just finished spending ten minutes taking down everybody’s order. When he’s supposedly all through,

In a Restaurant, Part Two

In a Restaurant, Part Two Are you the kind of person who doesn’t like giving money to street-beggars because they provide no service to you (other than disappearing when you

Teach Your Children Well

Teach Your Children Well We tend to teach things to children in terms of absolutes. This is because we think they’re too dumb to grasp nuance. That’s why our teachings

Medical Risk

Medical Risk If you’re like most people, when you hear on the local news report that drinking faloopi juice triples your chances of contracting Schmeckheimer’s liver disease, it sounds like

Local News

Local News This is a simple one: Don’t watch local television news. Ever. Maybe the weather if you really must, but there are much better ways to get weather without

God

God I don’t believe there is a more profound question than whether or not there is a God. Yet people insist on asking each other this enormously complex question in

The Ugliest Words in the English Language

The Ugliest Words in the English Language I think the ugliest words in the English language are these: "Sometimes you just have to have a little faith." Offhand, I can’t

Using Critics

Using Critics Do you have time to see every movie, read every book, listen to every music album and attend every play? That’s 250 movies, 53,000 books, 6,000 music albums

Technology

Technology If you’re like most people, you’re probably in a whirlwind of confusion about the extraordinary pace of technology. You might even be afraid to buy a computer because you

Playing the Lottery

Playing the Lottery If you enjoy a little gambling, and think it’s fun to buy a couple bucks worth of lottery tickets every week and win five dollars back once

Intuition

Intuition Many people tell you to trust your intuition. Is this a good idea? Listen to this: Suppose you have a sack of potatoes that weighs 100 pounds (not including

Athletes Endorsing Products

Athletes Endorsing Products I’ve been doing a lot of mouthing off, so let me ask you all a question: Do you really believe athletes endorse products because they think they're

Existential Agony

Existential Agony Did you ever wonder who it was out there who was feeling all those things that we as humans supposedly all feel, except that you don’t feel that

The Internet

The Internet Another easy one. If you don’t yet own a computer with access to the Internet, now would be a very good time to get yourself on-line. This is

Spin

Spin Pretty much everything you hear out of official Washington, or your state capital or from your Congressman, has on it what’s known as spin. Here’s some evidence: Government officials at

Operant Definitions

Operant Definitions Fancy term. Simple concept. The operant definition is a cornerstone of the scientific method. Its purpose is to prevent spin. It means this: If you do an experiment,

Objective News Reporting

Objective News Reporting As long as we’re on the subject of subjective opinions and professional critics, let’s take a moment to look at objectivity as it applies to news reporting. There’s no

HEROES – Get ‘Em by the Bagful

HEROES - Get 'Em by the Bagful The brazen manipulation of perception in America is rarely more in evidence than in our cult of manufactured hero worship. We the people

The Stock Market – Part 1

The Stock Market - Part 1 I no longer invest in individual stocks. This has partially to do with my distaste for the market as a place where people move

The Stock Market – Part 2

The Stock Market - Part 2 Okay, I have to be honest here. I left out a little something in Part 1 of this piece, only because I didn't want

Why Jonesboro Happened

Why Jonesboro Happened In late March, 1997, a couple of barely pubescent, misguided youths (sorry: "youths in high-risk situations") pulled a fire alarm in their middle school, and as their

How Long Does It Take to Write a Book?

How Long Does It Take to Write a Book? This is one of the questions I get asked most often (along with, "Where do you get your ideas?" and "How

Marriage & Divorce

How Long Does It Take to Write a Book? You’re probably going to hate this one. The institution of marriage has truly declined in the last few decades, but not

Marriage & Divorce – Part 2

Marriage & Divorce - Part 2 Forget something in Part 1. I said you shouldn't split the first time you have an argument, or if one of you loses his

Limiting Your Dreams

Limiting Your Dreams I’m getting pretty tired of hearing fifteen-year old gymnasts, figure skaters and tennis players say… Actually, I’m pretty tired of hearing them say damned near anything. But,

Whatever Happened to the Five Ws?

Whatever Happened to the Five Ws? onsider these recent headlines and the first paragraph lead-ins: "Native Americans in Bizarre Dispute With Ranch-Owners — On a ridge overlooking this seemingly peaceful

The Moral High Ground

The Moral High Ground Last week there was a piece on NPR about the high percentage (50%) of the population on Maui that is on welfare. During the discussion, a

The War on Drugs – Part I

The War on Drugs - Part I What do you think we’re fighting when we fight the war on drugs? You think we’re fighting the Medellin cartel? Street pushers? Corrupt

The War on Drugs – Part II

The War on Drugs - Part II Having made the case that the War on Drugs cannot be won (see THE WAR ON DRUGS – Part I), do we just give

The Deadliest Weapons

The Deadliest Weapons Suppose I appeared one day and told you about a new form of transportation that would allow people to get from one place to another faster and

Memo: Disaster Coverage Guidelines

Memo: Disaster Coverage Guidelines TO: KCRAP News Staff FROM: John "If it bleeds, it leads" Rumplemeyer SUBJECT: Disaster Coverage Guidelines We here at KCRAP generally take great pride on our

If U Cn Rd Ths, U Cn Gt a Gd Jb

If U Cn Rd Ths, U Cn Gt a Gd Jb A lot of people try to predict the future. It's fun, and there's no downside, because by the time

Healthcare in America

Healthcare in America Here's the thing: I want my doctor to be rich as hell. I hope she makes an obscene amount of money, drives a Rolls and only works

The Second Amendment

The Second Amendment Some problems are so big and so complicated and so drenched in emotion that we forget sometimes to think critically about them. Even opponents of a point

Bill & Hillary &…An Impeachment Theory

Bill & Hillary &...An Impeachment Theory Everybody else has weighed in with their takes on the Bill & Monica musical, so here's mine, in the form of a little myth-breaking.

How Powerful are the Media?

How Powerful are the Media? Kind of a cliché, isn't it..."the power of the media?" Several years ago, a book entitled The Bell Curve hit the shelves and raised one heck of

God, Part 2: The Problem with Prayer

God, Part 2: The Problem with Prayer There are two kinds of prayer. One is the kind in which you contemplate your God. The other is the kind where you

The Florida Recount

The Florida Recount I'm writing this on Sunday, November 19, 2000, the day before the Florida Supreme Court hearing on the recount. I'm telling you this so there's no question

Thoughts on 9/11/01 (revised 9/23)

Thoughts on 9/11/01 (revised 9/23) Why do terrorists attack us? While I agree that we need to go after the beast hard and fast, I also feel it imperative that

Anthrax, Sharks & Probability

Anthrax, Sharks & Probability We’ve already covered the fact that there is no such thing as objective reporting. What’s worse is when the media perpetuate a self-serving agenda because reporters are

Returning God to Schools and Government

Returning God to Schools and Government As stated in an earlier essay (On Critics), I believe it is an important obligation for someone who expresses an opinion to disclose the

Questioning the Question

Questioning the Question "Why don't you like brussel sprouts?" How many kids have sat in confusion and frustration, struggling to answer that question, because they don't have the mental wherewithal

The Religious Fanatic

The Religious Fanatic Religious fanaticism comes not from deep faith, but from a lack of it. What is a religious fanatic, at heart? The fanatic is someone who is convinced

Tort Reform

Tort Reform A movement known as "tort reform" has been underway in America for a long time now. A "tort" is a legal term referring to (and don't quote me)

Priestly Power

Priestly Power Whenever you see evil committed on a grand scale and wonder how such a thing is possible, when the world gnashes its teeth and beats its breast trying

Spam

Spam Don't get me wrong: I hate spam. I wouldn't mind if every spammer on the planet was vaporized overnight. But I don't blame them for spamming. Not one bit.

The Most Thankless Job in the World

The Most Thankless Job in the World I'm not really going to write about Hurricane Katrina. It's hard for me to believe there's actually anything left to say. What I

Evolution, Creationism and a Theory of Theory

Evolution, Creationism and a Theory of Theory As long as we're on the subject of science and theology, here's a quick little lesson in semantics that you might find useful.

Civil Rights & Terrorism

Civil Rights & Terrorism There is an interesting debate going on in this country. The question is whether or not susected terrorists should be granted the civil rights available to

How to Solve California’s Immigration Problem

Civil Rights & Terrorism I get a lot of e-mails from people with political opinions. Some of these are very thoughtful and considered, some are foam-at-the-mouth rants, some are logically

Censuring the President

Censuring the President One of the things I try to do in these little essays is stay focused. I usually have one point to make, and try to make it

20/20 Retrospective Hindsight Monday Morning Quarterbacking

20/20 Retrospective Hindsight Monday Morning Quarterbacking This is a piece about avian flu. I'll get to it in a second. We're living in an interesting time. I don't mean that

Nuclear Strategy

Nuclear Strategy Those of you who have been following the stories about Iran's nuclear program might find yourselves confused about where you come down on the issue. Me, too. Very

Immigrants, Part 2: Criminals on the Loose

Criminal Immigrants People who oppose immigration — people like Lou Dobbs of CNN — insist on using the adjective "illegal" whenever the word "immigrants" is used. I guess this is

Why Computers Will Never Pass the Turing Test

Why Computers Will Never Pass the Turing Test What's happening when we talk is that my words trigger in you memories of sensations and experiences that you have sensed and

Jerry Falwell: The Terrorists Were Right

Jerry Falwell: The Terrorists Were Right After 9/11, Osama bin Ladn claimed that God had ordained the attacks, America being a hothouse of immorality and sin. All of us in

The Mexican Wall

The Mexican Wall You know that wall along our southern border that a lot of Americans want to build to keep Mexicans out? If you're one of those who wants

Guest essay: The Comments of Pope Benedict XVI

Guest essay: The Comments of Pope Benedict XVI Note: This is the first piece we've ever published that wasn't written by Lee Gruenfeld. The writer is Roland S. Martin of Creators

How to Lower Gasoline Prices

How to Lower Gasoline Prices Gas prices are higher than they've ever been. Oil company profits are higher than they've ever been. Doesn't that just make you angry at those