WHO'S IN T-1?

8/2006

KEVIN:  Okay, Lee…we've got a bunch of guys out of the water and in Transition 1!

LEE: Terrific. Hey, Kevin, listen: Will you tell me the guys' names in transition so when I see them get on the bike, I'll know who they are?

KEVIN: Sure. But you know, strange as it may seem, they give triathletes nowadays very peculiar names.

LEE: Funny names?

KEVIN: Nicknames, pet names. For example, among the Australians, Who's in the red swim trunks, What's in the black, I Don't Know is in green---

LEE: That's what I want to find out; I want you to tell me the names of the guys on the Australian team.

KEVIN: I'm telling you: Who's in the red swim trunks, What's in the black, I Don't Know is in green---

LEE: You know the guys' names?

KEVIN: Yes.

LEE: Well, then, who's in the red trunks?

KEVIN: Yes.

LEE: I mean the athlete in the red trunks.

KEVIN: Who.

LEE: The guy in the red Speedo.

KEVIN: Who.

LEE: The guy wearing red.

KEVIN: Who is wearing red.

LEE: Well what are you askin' me for?

KEVIN: I'm not asking you---I'm telling you: Who is wearing red swim trunks.

LEE: I'm asking you---who's wearing red?

KEVIN: That's the man's name!

LEE: That's who's name?

KEVIN: Yes.

LEE: Well go ahead and tell me.

KEVIN: Who.

LEE: The guy in red.

KEVIN: Who.

LEE: The guy wearing red trunks!

KEVIN: Who is wearing red!

LEE: Is there an athlete wearing a red Speedo?

KEVIN: Certainly!

LEE: Then who's wearing red?

KEVIN: Absolutely!

LEE: When the sponsors pay the guy in red, who gets the money?

KEVIN: Every dollar of it! And why not, the man's entitled to it.

LEE: Who is?

KEVIN: Yes.

LEE: So who gets it?

KEVIN: Why shouldn't he? Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

LEE: Who's wife?

KEVIN: Yes. After all, the man earns it.

LEE: Who does?

KEVIN: Absolutely.

LEE: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name wearing red.

KEVIN: Oh, no, no, What is wearing black.

LEE: I'm not asking you who's wearing black.

KEVIN: Who's wearing red.

LEE: That's what I'm trying to find out!

KEVIN: Well, don't change the athletes around.

LEE: I'm not changing anybody!

KEVIN: Now, take it easy.

LEE: What's the guy's name in red?

KEVIN: What's the guy's name in black.

LEE: I'm not askin' ya who's in black.

KEVIN: Who's in red.

LEE: I don't know.

KEVIN: He's wearing green. We're not talking about him.

LEE: How did we get to the guy in green?

KEVIN: You mentioned his name.

LEE: If I mentioned the green guy's name, who did I say is wearing green?

KEVIN: No, Who's wearing red.

LEE: Stay offa red, will ya?!

KEVIN: Well, what do you want me to do?

LEE: Now what's the guy's name wearing green?

KEVIN: What's wearing black.

LEE: I'm not asking ya who's wearing black.

KEVIN: Who's wearing red.

LEE: I don't know.

KEVIN: He's in green.

LEE: There you go, back to green again.

KEVIN: Well, I can't change their names.

LEE: Will you please stay on the red guy?

KEVIN: Now what is it you want to know?

LEE: What is the fellow's name wearing the red trunks.

KEVIN: What is the fellow's name wearing black.

LEE: I'm not askin' ya who's wearing black!

KEVIN: Who's wearing red.

LEE: I don't know.

KEVIN & LEE: Green trunks!!

LEE: You got Japanese guys in this race?

KEVIN: Oh, sure. That guy in blue over there.

LEE: Japan has some good athletes?

KEVIN: Oh, absolutely.

LEE: The guy in blue's name?

KEVIN: Why.

LEE: I don't know, I just thought I'd ask you.

KEVIN: Well, I just thought I'd tell you.

LEE: Then tell me who's the guy in blue.

KEVIN: Who's in red!

LEE: Stay out of the Australian team! I want to know what's the fellow's name on the Japanese team.

KEVIN: What is the Australian guy in black.

LEE: I'm not askin' ya who's wearing black!

KEVIN: Who is wearing red.

LEE: I don't know!

KEVIN & LEE: Green trunks!

KEVIN: Now take it easy, take it easy, man.

LEE: And the Japanese guy's name?

KEVIN: Why.

LEE: Because!

KEVIN: No, no:  he's the German guy in orange.

LEE: Wait a minute. You got a Canadian in this field?

KEVIN: Wouldn't this be a fine race without Canadians.

LEE: I dunno. Tell me the Canadian's name.

KEVIN: Tomorrow.

LEE: You don't want to tell me today?

KEVIN: I'm telling you, man.

LEE: Then go ahead.

KEVIN: Tomorrow.

LEE: What time?

KEVIN: What time what?

LEE: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's racing for Canada?!

KEVIN: Now listen, Who is not racing for Canada. Who is the Australian wearing---

LEE: I'll break your arm if you say who's wearing red!

KEVIN: Then why'd you ask?

LEE: I want to know what's the Japanese guy's name!

KEVIN: What's an Australian.

LEE: I don't know.

KEVIN & LEE: Green trunks!!

LEE: You gotta a Brazilian?

KEVIN: Yes.

LEE: The Brazilian's name?

KEVIN: Today.

LEE: Today. And Tomorrow's Canadian.

KEVIN: Now you've got it.

LEE: Gotta Belgian?

KEVIN: Yes.

LEE: I'm a good race commentator, you know.

KEVIN: I know that.

LEE: I'd like to comment on this race

KEVIN: Well I wish you would.

LEE: Okay. So the Australian in the red Speedo is first out of the water.

 KEVIN: Yes.

LEE: The Australian in the red Speedo is the first guy on the bike.

KEVIN: Okay.

LEE: Now me being a good race commentator, I want to make sure the camera is on the guy, right?

KEVIN: Right.

LEE: So I tell the camera guy to point the camera at who?

KEVIN: Now that's the first thing you've said right all day!

LEE: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

KEVIN: Well, that's all you have to do.

LEE: Just point the camera at the Australian in the red Speedo?

KEVIN: Yes.

LEE: Now it's pointed at who?

KEVIN: Naturally.

LEE: Who is on the TV screen?

KEVIN: Naturally.

LEE: Naturally.

KEVIN: Naturally.

LEE: O.K.

KEVIN: Now you've got it.

LEE: We point the camera at Naturally.

KEVIN: No you don't, you point it at the Australian in the red Speedo.

LEE: Then who's in the picture?

KEVIN: Naturally!

LEE: O.K.

KEVIN: All right.

LEE: I point the camera at Naturally.

KEVIN: You don't! You point it at Who!

LEE: Naturally!

KEVIN: Well, that's it. Say it that way.

LEE: That's what I said!

KEVIN: You did not.

LEE: I said I'd point it at Naturally.

KEVIN: You don't. You point it at Who.

LEE: Naturally.

KEVIN: Yes!

LEE: So I point the camera at the Australian in the red Speedo and Naturally is in the picture.

KEVIN: No! You point at the Australian---

LEE: Then who is in the picture?!

KEVIN: Naturally!

LEE: That's what I'm saying!

KEVIN: You're not saying that.

LEE: I point the camera at Naturally!

KEVIN: You point it at Who!

LEE: Naturally!

KEVIN: Naturally. Well, say it that way.

LEE: THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!

KEVIN: Now don't get excited, don't get excited.

LEE: I point at the Australian in the red Speedo---

KEVIN: Then Who is in the picture!

LEE: He better be in the picture!

KEVIN: All right, now don't get excited. Take it easy.

LEE: Huh.

KEVIN: Huh.

LEE: Now I point the camera at the Australian in the red Speedo, so the first guy out of T1 is who. What passes who, I Don't Know passes what, who falls back tomorrow…they're running one two three.

KEVIN: Yeah. It could be.

LEE: Another guy comes out, he passes all three, he gets passed by Because. Why? I don't know. He's wearing green trunks and I have a big headache!

KEVIN: What was that?

LEE: I said, Big Headache!

KEVIN: Oh…that's the Swiss guy in Purple!