Funny

What’s Latin for “Ironman?” 2/2006 Every great sporting event tries for an extra touch of class to make the tailgaters think they’re really at the opera. The Super Bowl uses Roman numerals in its name (which is going to be a little tough to unravel 43 years from now when it’s “Super Bowl LXXXVIII”). Academy […]

Iron-Lingo 5/2006 Ever wonder where some of those great Ironman triathlon words and phrases come from? Me neither. But, amateur etymologist that I am, I decided to do a bit of research anyway, and discovered that there is a great deal of misconception about the origins of some of the more popular terms in the

Do the Everest 14.5! 9/2013 by Lee Gruenfeld “When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less.”                                — Humpty Dumpty There was a great headline last week: Ironman Winner Nearly Loses At Finish Line On Account Of Gloating. Great story, too, but what really got

Dealing With Your LOOPIE 9/2013 by Lee Gruenfeld You know how you think you know someone and then something happens to that person – a lethal disease, bankruptcy, a Nobel Prize, or you play a round of golf with him for the first time — and only then you discover to your horror what that

DSM 140.6: A Manual of Ironman-related Psychiatric Disorders 9/2013 by Lee Gruenfeld If you’ve ever been involved with psychiatry or psychology – from either side of the couch – then you’re familiar with the reference book to end all reference books, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, known fondly the world over as

IRONING OUT IRONMAN: How to Improve the World’s Toughest Race 4/2006 Don’t get me wrong: I love Ironman. I wouldn’t actually do one even if wild crows were pecking out my eyeballs, but I love the sport nonetheless, in much the same way I love, say, crocodile wrestling or Fear Factor 13: Flirting with Plague.

CHANGING COURSE: Fear Factor Meets the Ironman 4/2006 I don’t know about you, but I’m getting a little tired of hearing what a tough sport Ironman is, how the World Championship is one of the toughest endurance races in the world, and what an awful toll it takes on the body. Come on. The only

The true motivation of an IRONMAN athlete 30 March 2007 In my last column I wrote about why people do Ironman. That it was deadly accurate doesn’t atone for the fact that I made it all up, so I decided that it might be a good idea to do a little actual research on the

The real reasons people do IRONMAN February 3rd 2007 I know a lot about Ironman. After all, I’ve watched more of them than most people have done. So I have to kind of sit back and smile when I hear some of the answers to the age-old question, “Why do they do it?” They want

“Handicapping” IRONMAN Athletes September 29th 2007 Several years ago a professional golfer named Casey Martin filed a discrimination lawsuit against the PGA Tour, which wouldn’t allow him to ride in a cart despite a debilitating leg ailment because tour rules mandated that all golfers walk the course. The case went all the way to the

Lee Gruenfeld has a vision of what Ironman etiquette should look like August 24th 2007 “After you! No, after you! No, please, you go ahead! No, no, you go ahead! No, really…!” I wasn’t planning to watch this year’s Tour de France … It’s not that I have a problem with an athletic event whose

Some corrections to the blog from yesterday October 12th 2007                       After my little essay on the Hawaiian language was posted here yesterday, I received a scathing e-mail from my literary agent’s assistant, Nikki Van De Car. Turns out Nikki grew up in Volcano, a

Speaking Hawai’ian October 11th 2007 Actually, I should have called this “Pronouncing Hawaiian.” As I said in Monday’s blog, Kona locals are enraptured with the Hawaiian language. Everywhere you go you see words in Hawaiian: on posters, in newspaper editorials, on t-shirts, in the Aloha Airlines onboard magazine. A few years ago I decided to

A Spectator’s Guide to IRONMAN October 13th 2007   There are nine thousand books and ten times that many magazine articles telling you how to train for the Ironman. Remarkably, there is nothing anywhere telling you how to watch the Ironman. What makes this so weird is that there are vastly greater numbers of people

Adding a Fourth Event to IRONMAN Anybody who runs a leading edge business will tell you the same thing: “Innovate or die.” Steven Jobs invents the Apple and by the time he’s finished bragging about it, the company gets snatched away and given to some guy who used to sell soda. Took Jobs another ten

How to Win the Ironman Lee Gruenfeld manages to make it all sound so simple. Really. October 8th 2008 I don’t see the point of advice columns by Ironman champions. Just because you won doesn’t mean you know how to win, at least not in ways that you can explain to others. Kind of reminds

Kona Karols for Obsessed Competitors Lee Gruenfeld provides a parody of Christmas carols for Ironman. October 8th 2008 When we landed in Kona last week, my wife said, “Boy, it’s just like Christmas, isn’t it?” A lot of people who race Ironman think the World Championships are like Christmas in October. So why shouldn’t The

SWT Seeks S/BWT For WOs, If You Know What I Mean October 11th 2008 Last month the Director of Central Intelligence announced a new, proprietary Facebook-ish service designed exclusively for use by covert intelligence operatives. Seriously. Check it out here. It makes sense, when you think about it: Spies can’t exactly get on your standard, public social

Ambrosia: Another of Lee Gruenfeld’s funny looks at Ironman Lee Gruenfeld has another tongue-in-cheek look at the world of Ironma February 28th 2009. In case you’re not familiar with the term from Greek mythology, “ambrosia” was the food of the gods, carried to Olympus by doves, a divine exhalation of Earth itself that conferred immortality

The Poor Man’s Ironman Lee Gruenfeld preempts Kevin Mackinnon with a look at how to make Ironman more affordable. August 21st 2009 They call it “Everyman’s Everest.” Right. If by “Everyman” you mean anyone who can afford to pony up half a yard for the entry fee, fly to Kona and live there for a